Love as thou wilt

alive

2007-05-02T23:50:14Z

sort of! Killing myself with school seemed like a good idea until I stayed up for 3 days in a row. Now I'm too drained to do anything. Gotta give it one last hoorah and then it'll all be over.... until grad school.

Craig Morgan concert

2006-11-18T23:24:36Z

So again this whole not driving thing kicked me in the butt. However, I may live. I missed Jackie's play and seeing my grandparents today, but I am seeing Craig Morgan tonight and Matt's taking me to see the grandparents tomorrow. Which is good. And of course, after the concert I'll probably end up down in Altavista... which is also good.

Monday I've got a modelling job. Peyton called me today to see if I'd be available for the first session of the season. So, I'm in. A little extra money never hurts, and my portfolio could use some additions.

NEXT WEEKEND (Jessie this is for you!!!!) I will be in Richmond! I will be hanging out with Jessie and Nina, getting my ink done (I'm calling for my appointment this week), and spending some time with the family and Brian. So, next weekend, Richmond. Since I failed to get there this weekend.

This weekend- booze. Now. And sexy little black dresses. So there.

hmm

2006-11-14T13:22:49Z

Once again, I completely forgot that I had one of these- good thing Mr. B reminded me, otherwise you'd've missed out on this quiz I stole from Mags.

Katharine Hepburn
You scored 23% grit, 23% wit, 47% flair, and 19% class!

You are the fabulously quirky and independent woman of character. You go your own way, follow your own drummer, take your own lead. You stand head and shoulders next to your partner, but you are perfectly willing and able to stand alone. Others might be more classically beautiful or conventionally woman-like, but you possess a more fundamental common sense and off-kilter charm, making interesting men fall at your feet. You can pick them up or leave them there as you see fit. You share the screen with the likes of Spencer Tracy and Cary Grant, thinking men who like strong women.

Find out what kind of classic leading man you'd make by taking the Classic Leading Man Test.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on grit

You scored higher than 99% on wit

You scored higher than 99% on flair

You scored higher than 99% on class

Link: The Classic Dames Test written by gidgetgoes on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Oh yeah..

2006-06-20T08:22:25Z

I forgot I had one of these. I guess I do. Maybe I'll update from time to time.

And also- I'm alive.

Still in Lynchburg, still working myself to death.

It's a beautiful night full of fog.

so much stupidity

2006-02-02T08:02:10Z

I'm so irritated by people right now. Nobody in particular just 90% of the human race, myself included. School's going alright, I've got a lot of catch up to do from the dark years (i.e. my marriage and subsequent divorce) but that should be taken care of shortly. Hopefully DeClair will give us some insight as to what he wants for this study abroad work. Papers and projects for the next two weeks... and yay a week from Friday it's oral surgery for me, then an oral presentation three days later! woot. I'm a smart kid.

Work has picked up again, I'm getting hours at 2 of the 3 hotels for which I'm employed.

Things are a little tricky on the boy front... but honestly, my level of caring is diminishing immensely. I don't have time to worry about peni. Yes, it's true.

I promise to be less busy (or at least more caught up) soon, so I can see people and you know actually have a life outside of 2am.

oh, by the way

2006-01-26T04:43:48Z

I'm back at school. Trip was great. Stuff......... lots of stuff.

Hoi An is amazing!!!

2006-01-08T17:39:21Z

I'm in Central Vietnam, in Hoi An. This hotel is absolutely beautiful, canopy beds, rose petals, fung shuy atmosphere... beautiful. The hospitality industry here is so different from at home... but then again when so much of one's economy is dependent on tourism, and with over 100 years to learn subservience thanks to the French, it's no wonder they do things so well here.

I got an ao dai made at the tailor's shop this morning. It's amazing that they can take my measurements today and have everything made (in silk even!) by tomorrow morning.

We went to Da Nang by bus this evening to the Cham museum, then an amazing dinner with traditional Cham dancers (beautiful dancers!) Afterwards we went to a traditional Vietnamese Opera house. I was irritated by the others who kept bitching that they "didn't understand what was going on b/c it was in Vietnamese"... I'm sorry, is it just me, or isn't theatre pretty universal? You don't need language to understand the emotions and actions being conveyed on the stage... granted yes, at times it is helpful, but tone and movement can convey just as much as words, and often more effectively.

I'm in love with this city. Though I'm anxious to get to Saigon in a few days. We're doing a homestay outside of the city, that should be pretty cool.

See everyone in a little over a week....

I'm in Hanoi!!!

2006-01-01T11:42:18Z

This is my last night in Hanoi and my first time at this internet cafe. Mike, Laura and I walked down to the Old Quarter tonight. Everything is so cheap here but it's soooooo easy to spend too much money! The currency is dong- and right now I'm walking around with about a million dong in my pants... hehe. wow... I'm juvenile.

We're doing dinner soon then maybe heading out to the saloon. The drinks in this city are amazing! Cheap, Strong, and Served Quickly. Loving it. The food here is so awesomely good! I could eat it forever and be happy.

I miss you all! And I must gloat that I got to celebrate New Years a whole twelve hours before everyone back home. See everyone in a few weeks!

Christmas and Gone

2005-12-27T04:10:10Z

Had a great Christmas, miss everyone tremendously! I've only talked to a few people since I've been home, namely (and in alphabetical order) Brandon, Chris, Daniel, and Jessie. ::sigh::

I leave for Vietnam in the morning. So... yeah. See everyone in three weeks... hope your breaks are awesome.

phedresmarque @ 2005-12-17T16:05:00

2005-12-17T21:20:34Z

The 10th Kingdom
20,000 Legues Under the Sea (1954)
Addams Family
Addams Family Values
Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Aladdin (Disney)
Alice in Wonderland (Disney, 1951)
All I Wanna Do
American History X
An American Tail
An American Tail: Fivel Goes West
American Pie
American Pie 2
American Wedding
Amistad
Apollo 13
Austin Powers: International Man of Myster
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
Austin Powers in Goldmemeber
Back to the Future
Back to the Future II
Back to the Future III
Bambie
Beetlejuice
Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
The Beverly Hillbillies
Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure
Black Beauty (1994)
The Blair Thumb
The Blair Witch Project
Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows
Blazing Saddles
The Blue Lagoon
Return to the Blue Lagoon
Bowling for Columbine
Bram Stoker's Dracula
Braveheart
Bride of Chucky
Bruce Almighty
The Butcher Boy
Caddyshack
Caddyshack 2
Charlotte's Web
Child's Play
Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things
Children of the Corn
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
A Christmas Story
Cinderella (Disney, 1950)
Citizen Toxie
City Slickers
City Slickers 2: Curly's Revenge
Clan of the Cave Bear
Clerks
Clue
Count of Monte Cristo (2002)
The Craft
Detroit Rock City
Dinosaur
Dogma
Don Juan DeMarco
Dracula (1931)
Dracula's Daughter
Son of Dracula
House of Dracula
Dracula: The Dark Prince (2000)
Dude, Where's My Car?
Dumbo
Earth Girls Are Easy
Ed Wood
Edward Scissorhands
House on Haunted Hill (1959)
The Terror
Little Shop of Horrors (1960)
Little Shop of Horrors (1988)
The Brain That Wouldn't Die
Dementia 13
Carnival of Souls
Night of the Living Dead (1968)
Night of the Living Dead (1990)
Elvira's Haunted Hills
Elvira: Mistress of the Dark
Emperor's New Groove
Ernest Goes to Camp
Ernest Scared Stupid
The Exorcist
Fargo
Father's Day
Finding Nemo
The Fly (1986)
Forrest Gump
Freddy VS Jason
From Hell
Galaxy Quest
Ghostbusters
Ghostbusters 2
Ginger Snaps
Ginger Snaps Back: The Beginning
The Goonies
Gothic
Grease
The Green Mile
Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)
Hannibal
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Hellboy
High Spirits
Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
The Howling
Hunchback of Notre Dame (Disney)
I Am Sam
Ice Age
Idle Hands
Interview with the Vampire
Island of Dr. Moreau (1996)
IT
Jason Goes to Hell
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Jurassic Park
Jurassic Park 2
Jurassic Park 3
Killer Klowns from Outer Space
Labyrinth
Land of the Dead
Legend
Lilo & Stitch
The Lion King
The Lion King 1 1/2
Little Nicky
The Little Vampire
The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Rings
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
The Lost Boys
Mallrats
Mary Poppins
The Mask
Mean Girls
Meet The Parents
Meet The Fockers
The Mists of Avalon
My Big Fat Greek Wedding
My Fellow Americans
My Mom's A Werewolf
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
The Neverending Story
The Neverending Story 2
The Nightmare Before Christmas
Nightmare on Elm Street
Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge
Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors
Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master
Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child
Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare
Wes Craven's New Nightmare
Not Another Teen Movie
Nothing But Trouble
O Brother, Where Art Thou?
Old Yeller
Oliver & Company
Out to Sea
The Passion of the Christ
Pearl Harbor
Pet Semetary
Pet Semetary 2
Peter Pan
The Phantom of the Opera (1998)
Pirates of the Caribbean
Planet of the Apes (2001)
Planet of the Apes
Beneath the Planet of the Apes
Escape from the Planet of the Apes
Conquest of the Planet of the Apes
Battle for the Planet of the Apes
Porky's
Rain Man
Rat Race
Ravenous
Red Dragon
The Rescuers Down Under
Resident Evil
Resident Evil 2: Apocalypse
Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
SLC Punk
Shadow of the Vampire
Shaun of the Dead
Shrek
Shrek 2
Signs
The Silence of the Lambs
Sleeping Beauty (Disney, 1959)
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
Sleepy Hollow
The Legend of Sleepy Hollow (1985)
Smoke Signals
The Sound of Music
Spaceballs
Spider-Man
Spider-Man 2
The Spongebob Squarepants Movie
Stand By Me
Star Trek: The Movie
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn
Star Trek III: Search for Spock
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home
Star Trek V: The Final Frontier
Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country
Star Trek Generations
Star Trek First Contact
Star Trek Nemesis
Star Wars IV: A New Hope
Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back
Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi
Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace
Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones
Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith
Stephen King's Rose Red
Stir of Echoes
Super Troopers
Taken
Teen Wolf
Teen Wolf Too
The Terminator
The Terminator 2: Judgement Day
Texas Chainsaw Massacare (2003)
Thirteen Ghosts
Thumbtanic
Thumbwars
Tombstone
Tron
Twilight of the Dark Master
Unbreakable
Van Helsing
The Waterboy
Weekend at Bernie's
Serpent and the Rainbow
Shocker
The People Under the Stairs
What's Eating Gilbert Grape
When Good Ghouls Go Bad
Who Framed Roger Rabbit
Willow
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
The Wizard of Oz
X-Men
X-Men 2: X-Men United
Young Frankenstein
Dragonheart
Romeo & Juliet
Superman
Batman
Batman Returns
Batman Forever
Batman & Robin
King Kong
Finding Neverland
Psycho
Vertigo
Cry Baby
The Wolf Man
Werewolf of London
Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man
She-Wolf of London
Quest for Fire
Blood Moon
Pumpkinhead
Natural Born Killers
The Witches
The Witches of Eastwick
Halloweentown
Halloweentown II
Halloweentown High
Mars Attacks!
Pretty in Pink
Frankenstein
From Dusk till Dawn
The Omen
Secret Window
Party Monster
License to Drive
The Scooby-Doo Movie
An American Werewolf in London
An American Werewolf in Paris
The Sixth Sense
1776
Sunday in the Park With George
South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
Halloween
Friday the 13th
The Thing
Village of the Damned (1995)
The Toxic Avenger
Super Size Me
Kill Bill Volume 1
Kill Bill Volume 2
The Monster Squad
Little Monsters
Big Fish
The Fifth Element
Dreamcatcher
Scrooged
Batteries Not Included
Nosferatu
Tarzan the Ape Man
Tarzan and His Mate
Tarzan Finds a Son
The Jungle Book (Disney)
The Jungle Book (live-action)
Poltergeist
Black Circle Boys
Robin Hood (Disney)
The Great Mouse Detective
Explorers
Bicentennial Man
K-Pax
Warlock
Warlock: The Armageddon
Robin Hood: Men In Tights
Freaks
Dawn of the Dead (2004)
The Evil Dead
The Evil Dead II: Dead By Dawn
Army of Darkness
Death Becomes Her
Casper
Tale of a Vampire
Princess Mononoke
Scream
Scream 2
Scream 3
Dazed and Confused
Fast Times at Ridgemont High
Clash of the Titans
Kung Pow! Enter the Fist
Reposessed
Hocus Pocus
Gremlins
Gremlins 2
Ghoulies
The Langoliers
The Stand
Thinner
Leprechaun
Leprechaun 2
Leprechaun 3
Leprechaun 4
Leprechaun 5
Leprechaun 6
The Others
Ray
Radio
House of the Dead
The Magical Legend of the Leprechauns
Dracula: Dead and Loving It
Flight of the Navigator
Chocolat
Powder
Velvet Goldmine
Brainscan
Hackers
The Frighteners
Ever After: A Cinderella Story
Can't Hardly Wait
The Full Monty
The Big Hit
A Midsummer's Night Dream
The Mummy
The Mummy Returns
A Walk in the Clouds
Ace Ventura
Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls
The Basketball Diaries
Kull the Conquerer
Conan the Barbarian
Billy Elliot
Trainspotting
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1991)
History of the World: Part 1
What Planet Are You From?
Kiss Me, Guido
Jungle 2 Jungle
AI
Blade
Blade II
Blade III
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
National Treasure
Rosemary's Baby
Spaced Invaders
Alexander
King Arthur
Now and Then
Awakenings
Benny and Joon
The Blues Brothers
The Crow
The Crow: City of Angels
The Mighty Ducks
D2: The Mighty Ducks
Bio Dome
In the Army Now
Lucas
Mr. Mom
Moll Flanders
Parenthood
Cheaper By the Dozen
Sidekicks
Three Men & A Baby
Turner & Hooch
War of the Roses
Ruthless People
While You Were Sleeping
Dead Man Walking
Baby Geniuses
Baby's Day Out
Dick Tracy
Dolores Claireborne
50 First Dates
Goodfellas
James and the Giant Peach
Sling Blade
Eight Crazy Nights
Look Who's Talking
Look Who's Talking 2
Look Who's Talking Now
The Santa Clause
The Santa Clause 2
Angels in the Outfield
Junior
Groundhog Day
What About Bob?
The Incredibles
Liar Liar
The Absentminded Professor
Dr. Dolittle
The Nutty Professor
The Nutty Professor 2
The Haunted Mansion

hmmm

2005-12-17T06:20:49Z

You Have Him Totally Hooked

Your guy is all yours - and happily so.
He loves being around you, and he totally sees you as a couple.
It looks like you two have a great future together - if you want it!

Do You Have Him Hooked?

Had my date tonight... it was more than I had hoped for, which makes things a little frightening considering the conversation Daniel and I have had lately. ::Sigh:: Oh well, nothing worthwhile is easy.

We saw Walk the Line, then drove around for over an hour, had a quick bite to eat at Ale House... mostly we talked, and picked on each other, and just had a good time. He's so different, so interesting... and fun. And, he's completely in tune with me... it's so rare to find a guy with whom you can talk philosophy, literature, and sports in one sitting, current events, and dreams, not to mention a guy who is uber talented, and responsible. He wants to see me again, and I would love to spend time with him again too. He's refreshing, and comfortable, and interesting.

Who knows... I sure don't. I do know I've had a great night, and I'm going to curl up in bed now until my morning shift. Goodnight all.

Blind something

2005-12-09T00:22:20Z

So... I officially met him tonight- meaning Brandon- yes I saw his concert, yes we've been talking for more than a month- but he came to visit me over coffee this evening. Yes, maybe, infatuation has set in. It's a shame I won't do anything about it. That whole heart part of me is still stuck somewhere else :-( But, at the very least I've now had face to face conversation and no longer feel so weird talking to him. He's an amazing guy... just can't compete with a year of something real.

I promised myself that I wouldn't let myself hold back, that things were really over, but I keep holding out.

I got the answer I've been waiting for tonight, verbally, but I need actions to go with it. I told myself and him that I wouldn't wait around anymore for him to straighten himself out... so why can't I be more positive towards meeting someone awesome???

I'm happy though. Happy. Talking to Brandon makes me feel more alive than I have in months. I feel real again. But I won't let it go anywhere until I'm sure there's no hope. Hope is a dangerous ally and even more detrimental when it fails.

How much time will it take? How long before I can stop feeling as though I'm betraying him by expressing interest in someone else?

Dear Santa

2005-12-06T09:04:08Z

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

Last Sunday I put gum in lenozzedifigaro's hair (-12 points). In January I helped onerangerfan hide a body (-173 points). Last Thursday I saved a busload of nuns in Angola (326 points). In June on a flight to Vancouver, I stole the emergency flight information card (-40 points). In September I had a shoot-out with rival gang lords on the 5 near LA (-76 points).

Overall, I've been nice (25 points). For Christmas I deserve a Lego set!

Sincerely,
phedresmarque

Because I MUST!

2005-12-05T14:21:21Z

Reply with your name and ...
1. I'll respond with something random I like about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll name something we should do together.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me (or just me).
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll leave you a quote that is somehow appropriate to you.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST!

What!? An update....

2005-12-03T23:23:40Z

I'm alive. Promise.

This week has been made up of unhuman irresponsibility, stress, and tidbits of good times. Thanksgiving week was much the same. I've got so much work to finish- just like everyone else I suppose. I just can't seem to get my head into any of it. I have a few things that are, as yet, overdue. Which poses a bit of a problem considering that in my irresponsibility I've still neglected to finish off the Koger and Allen stuff I didn't get done last semester when my irresponsibility culminated in hiding in the courts and only coming out for night time and sushi.

Can't get more behind. Must graduate in May.

But the highlights of the last two weeks- since nobody really wants to know or cares about the shitty stuff-

1. Tattoo w/ Jessie when she came up to see me
2. RENT with my little sister when I took dan home with me for Thanksgiving
3. Reading way too much over break and none of it productive
4. Talking to "B" pretty much daily
5. Hanging out with Henry and the young'uns FINALLY yesterday
6. Going to "B"'s concert last night with Sonya (even if I had to leave early for work)
7. Work not totally sucking last night.
8. Insane amounts of coffee and WaHo for 8 hours while finishing up my Emily Dickinson presentation earlier this week.

.... well, I was hoping for 10, but I'll take what I'm given.

trying to get my mind off...

2005-11-16T07:00:21Z

The Traditional Princess

You are generous, graceful, and practical with both
feet planted firmly on the ground. You tend to
be a little on the old-fashioned side. You
value home, hearth, and family life and love to
be of service to others.

Role Models: Snow White, Maid Marian

You are most likely to: Discover a hidden talent
for spinning straw into gold.

What Kind of Princess are You? - Beautiful Artwork (Original Music is BACK!!!)
brought to you by Quizilla

boys are stupid

2005-11-11T23:32:51Z

It's been an incredibly interesting week- busy... as always, and not over yet- as always.

Things are straightened out on all sides... at least to the point of the drama ceasing. I feel better now that ::given person:: and I had a talk and things are remarkably clear.

But, alas, if it isn't one thing it's another.

Gamma Sig has been rather stressful/busy as of late. But it'll work itself out.

Work... crazy. But the extra hours on my next check will be nice.

Love life? Pshaw! Non-existant... and I like it like that. Oddly enough, as always, once I make that decision, people start popping up like gadflies. I've recieved a series of phone calls/messages from people that I thought had disappeared off the face of the earth. Mmm, there's a certain comfort that exists in the past... but the past exists for that reason.

Alcohol intake- virtually nonexistant this week, save one particularly rough night. Last night, (your thursday, my friday) I drank NOTHING. I'm proud. And disappointed. Simultaneously.

Sonya and Kim are in Williamsburg tonight and tomorrow. KELLYE IS IN TOWN (or will be in a few hours).

Friends are good.

Sleep is good.

So yeah.

because I'm special damnit.

2005-11-08T21:12:16Z

the Cutting Edge

(52% dark, 46% spontaneous, 36% vulgar)

your humor style:
CLEAN | SPONTANEOUS | DARK

Your humor's mostly innocent and off-the-cuff, but somehow there's something slightly menacing about you. Part of your humor is making people a little uncomfortable, even if the things you say aren't themselves confrontational. You probably have a very dry delivery, or are seriously over-the-top.

Your type is the most likely to appreciate a good insult and/or broken bone and/or very very fat person dancing.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: David Letterman - John Belushi

The 3-Variable Funny Test!
- it rules -

If you're interested, try my latest: The Terrorism Test

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 53% on darkness

You scored higher than 41% on spontaneity

You scored higher than 48% on vulgarity

Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

so, it's all ok...

2005-11-04T08:20:23Z

Somewhere in the depths of my brain meat, I had an epiphany- and not the "Oh, look! Bagel!" kind. It feels pretty good knowing that all of the shit that's been happening hasn't been for nothing. And for the first time in too long I feel more than just "ok". I'm... content. Happy, even. Things are definitely looking up.

Things I'm Happy About-

Feeling Anything again :-)
Having super-awesome friends :-)
Being...(this one's tough to type)... single :-)
Believing :-)
Upcoming out of country trips :-)
Breaking the writer's block :-)
Having Focus :-)
Thinking Rationally :-)
My baby sister graduating Barbizon on Sunday :-)
Getting to go home, however briefly :-)
Watching 24 for the first time :-)
Life :-)

Things are still stressful, but I feel better about it all. Funny, I'm not even sure I could be angry anymore if I wanted to be. So- as the Daniel says- problem resolves itself. And this time without the bottle.

Sleep tight kiddies. Tomorrow is another day.

::maniacal laughter goes here::

2005-11-03T20:59:06Z

!!!!!!!!English majors love irony!!!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I can't explain, I won't even bother. I'll leave it at stupidity and irony make me giggle like a catholic school girl who just discovered the joy of masturbation.

I'm utterly disgusted, and yet, there's a quiet joy surrounding life.

Take it.

In case I didn't make this clear before-

2005-11-03T06:32:48Z

I will not be used. I don't care how much I care about anyone, I'm not a pawn in the childish games that are being played. I'm done.

feeling... almost ok

2005-11-03T00:31:56Z

I never realized how much drama I missed just by being Dan's girlfriend for a year- I mean, yeah there was always shit going down, but I never really had time to get swept up in it... so the past few weeks have been the suck with shit here and back home and finally culminated in massive breakdown last night. One beneficial thing- I was able to get rid of the goddamned headache that has been plaguing me since Friday... mostly anyway.

The uber-suck is that I learned that my waterproof mascara is not in fact tear proof. Go figure. So I looked like a deranged version of Dawn- Dawn being uber sexy and me looking more like something you'd see in a shitty thriller movie from the 80's.

But on the whole, I'm feeling better. Strange. But better. My things to do list was rewritten so as not to include murder, or maming, or drinking myself into oblivion, or becoming a hermit in given country far away from here.

Things are still... weird and fuckity with a lot of situations- but at the moment my "give a damn is busted"- to quote given country song that Daniel despises. And I keep reminding myself that I have a respite soon... however brief and full of work it will be.

I also want my damned passport to get here so I can get my stupid visa so I can actually go to Vietnam and miss the whole winter thing that will exist here.

http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp09102005.shtml

Happy Halloween

2005-11-01T04:19:57Z

My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
Phedresmarque goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as Anguissette.
gadesfn gives you 1 blue root beer-flavoured gummy worms.
islandersgrl04 tricks you! You get an eraser.
killed_for_less tricks you! You lose 1 pieces of candy!
oneangrydrunk tricks you! You get a used tissue.
poptartsnpings gives you 16 light blue pineapple-flavoured pieces of taffy.
sluglife tricks you! You lose 15 pieces of candy!
sparklydeath gives you 17 tan mint-flavoured pieces of chewing gum.
theredfish2 gives you 3 light yellow vanilla-flavoured pieces of chewing gum.
Phedresmarque ends up with 21 pieces of candy, an eraser, and a used tissue.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

as if there was any doubt ;-)

2005-10-31T13:39:02Z

You are: POISON IVY!

Which Batman Villain Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

new favorite quote

2005-10-25T10:11:52Z

I've been re-reading the Kushiel trilogy this week... I'm about halfway through the second one. It pleases me. I'm also discovering more people who have actually read it- and here I thought Jessie and I were special ;-)

I've also been feeling more than a little out of it lately. I think a refill prescription of my ativan might be necessary soon, though I was revelling in the fact that I had needed it so rarely over the summer.

Dan was good for my stress level.

Things have been strange and circular as of late, and I hesitate to elaborate as too many are involved indirectly...

I do find it odd, however, the mixed reactions I get when people realize I'm still spending time with the Daniel... some is amusing, some disturbing- but I guess it's good that people give a shit.

I, on the other hand, with regard to most of the events in my life at this time, can emote only apathy, or at best discontent. There again, too many involved to be able to work it out in typed form at the moment. Mayhaps after I've figured things out in my head, I'll be able to be more articulate.

Let it suffice to say that I'm not exactly pleased with things at the moment- so the obvious recourse, is to change it. The difficulty lies in the how, and to what end.

Whatever, no more thinking for me. It's 6 fucking am, and I'm going to bed.

Oh- the entry title- new favorite quote:

"All life is betrayal." ~ Cesare Paves

Goodnight, kiddies.